Close Quarters: Moneyballing Mates and Munchies

Here's what I'm reading this morning:
http://wgbhnews.org/post/science-settling-calculate-your-mate-moneyball

Moneyballing (yeah, I'll learn that later) certain aspects to get a lasting relationship.  According to Tasahiro, moneyballing is "..all about finding undervalued traits and assets in the dating market. And, just like with baseball, it starts with trying to ignore the superficial indices of value — attractiveness, wealth — in favor of hidden attributes with a stronger correlation to long-term relationship success."

It's not a matter of lowering one's expectations - rather, it's about changing the expectations altogether.  Instead of looking at the cover-of-the-book, it's advised to look at other traits that will strengthen both of your compatibility and lead to better sex and a longer lasting relationship.

One of my biggest flaws is...my choice of food.  Now, I'm not at any immediate risk of a heart-attack - according to my excellent doctor who doesn't put me through a horrible quality-of-life.  But I will admit (I am munching on a Frosted Brown-Sugar Cinnamon Pop Tart at this moment), that my food choices are not-ideal - in that they are not kale.  I know this is a sticky point for my wife, because she also has as much willpower against ice-cream that I do.

I can't be the only one in this situation.  My metabolism allows me to somehow eat all of this delicious chemistry and not gain weight from it - but my wife is not so blessed and bemoans the bathroom scale.  She relies on me for the food shopping and cooking, so it is a challenge to undertake researching healthier foods to buy and prepare while not going bankrupt at our local Whole Paycheck.

I mentioned quality-of-life and I need other people to recognize it as well.  Many will argue that a life spent eating kale and raw oats is not life at all, especially when compared to a life of eating perfectly-prepared bacon.  Us New Englanders are all-too-familiar with Puritanical doctrine and we are quick to equate SUFFERING with Godliness (really, it's the only way to survive the winter Nor'Easters).  I find the zen buddhist approach more attractive in that "If you are hungry, eat."  Also, mad props to Buddha for appearing as a happy, fat, Asian dude.

So, this is one struggle that we are battling in our lives.  Yes, our pet iguana eats better than we do, but at least we're happy sharing a chocolate shake together.

Take that, kale.  

Daddy Issue: The Economic Impact of Dad

I was listening to my other NPR station on the drive into the office today (yes, I have two to choose from) when I caught the last few minutes of a piece on fatherhood and the impact it has on the larger society.  If WGBH happens to post it, I'll update with a direct link.

The statement that drew me in was "a deadbeat dad has a measurable and significant cost to taxpayers in the form of incarceration, lowered education, and unemployment"  What is really significant is that this effect doesn't end with just one man - it is perpetuated into the next generation in his children.  Social programs have been trying to make fatherhood a more-attractive lifestyle choice and one place where it is being focused is in prisons.

A social-worker commented on how she viewed a recently-released prison inmate.  She saw him in his car driving along and he had his children in the back.  This was success.  Not just re-integrating a man back into society, but having him assume his responsibilities as a father.

One of the interviewees simply put it as "growing up" and I do agree.  Being able to "put aside childish things" and placing the needs of others (especially when it's your own child or your niece or nephew or your wife) before your own is a stage of maturity.  Staying in school, toughing-it-out in some cases, recognizing that these efforts do eventually lead to better opportunities and an easier life later on is a gamble worth taking.

So how can we keep families together?  We as a society must spend an embarrassing amount of money, time, and personal resources when we don't get along.  What can we do to stay together and live harmoniously?

 

Dad Tech: Kudoso Kickstarter and the Chore-Router

Now, more than ever, it seems that internet access is becoming more-integrated in our daily lives.  We seem to be tethered to our personal clouds and social circles.  Keeping our secure information online seems routine now as opposed to ten or even five years ago.  Online storage has proven itself more-convenient over maintaining your data in your own basement.  In extreme cases, people prioritize high-speed internet connectivity over water.

My home is no exception - it seems the kids are always consuming media or socializing with their remote friends whenever they have a moment of down-time.  For the majority of the time, it has not been an issue.  However, it only takes that ONE time where I end up texting the wife something like:

 
They were delicious.

Well, they would've been, if I were a less-patient father.

Which is why the Kudoso Kickstarter caught my eye.  They are developing a home-internet solution where the internet access is controlled by an application.  This application is then able to meter internet usage based on certain criteria - like chore completion.  You can install this on any compatible router, or purchase the router and software together.

So, if Megan picks up all of her fuse-beads, she can be rewarded with internet access time.  If Cameron unloads and loads the dishwasher, he earns enough sessions to complete his Minecraft pagoda.  You get the idea.

It's the same as earning an allowance, but without the hassle of having to handle currency (who uses cash anymore, anyway?)

I know there are those of you out there saying "just TAKE the computers away?  Why do you need to complicate it with spreadsheets and routers?!?"  and that's a fair point.  But I think this technique teaches the kids about currency, value, work, and reward instead of just "you can't have this - PERIOD".  When you say they've earned 45 minutes of surfing time, it's exactly 45 minutes - no more, no less, no arguing, and no drama.

And if they don't learn that, they'll probably learn how to reset a router.  I can't be angry at that.

I suppose it'll be just a matter of time before a child is in the middle of a crucial online campaign when the time runs out and they start begging mom to let them do the laundry.  (Yes, I dream big).  Who knows?  Eventually, they may even just do their chores without having the bandwidth limitations in place...

Overall Health

Cholesterol results are in!

Jacqueline: "well...what is it?"
Me: "You gonna guess?"
J: "Lessee....threee....."
Me: <side-eye>
J: "....fiddy-seven."
Me: "Woman! It was two-fiddy-fi *after* BaconWeek las year!"
J: "Well, you a LEE!"
Me: "it's two forty-four"
J: "...that's still high."

That's what happened this morning.  For those not familiar with my medical history, let's just say that eight years ago, my cholesterol level was in the upper 400s.  I mean, sure, that sounds like a LOT of deep-fried Krispy Kreme, but let's step back a moment.

As my darling wife has stated, I am a Lee - thus you can conclude that this sort of hyperlipidemia runs in my family and you would be correct.  Practically every male in my family is on a statin drug now.  At Thanksgiving, we have Lipitor pie for dessert.  We cannot escape genetics, but modern pharmaceuticals are doing their best to improve them.

Also, I don't really feel any more-or-less healthy than eight years ago.  I find that most-curious.  This value which many would argue is a harbinger of a myocardial infarction (heart attack) doesn't really present itself in any way I can feel.  I'm not short of breath but I'm also not filled with any newfound energy to go run marathons.  My blood pressure has always been normal and I get the average number of sniffles during the wintertime.  I am intimately familiar with Five Guys burgers and fries but I indulge with moderation.  As long as the numbers keep improving, I will be taking these tasteless pills right before bedtime.  To me, it is just a number - a hoop that I jump through to keep living based on the best medicine we have today and that's an acceptable quality of life.

Medical history is something that you should take seriously.  I was tempted to ask my wife what her level is.  After giving it a lot of consideration, I decided against turning this into a video game.  There's the easy temptation to cholesterol-shame your spouse and nobody wants that.  I know she is proud of me in her own special way. 

Scaring Children

I read Eve's article on how little girls should not take makeup too seriously and posted Megan's Halloween picture.

This got me thinking more about Halloween and horror movies and the subject of this post.

What are my kids afraid of?

For my son, it's flunking.  Not joking.  He *REALLY* obsesses about studying and being on top of his exams.  The MCAS?  Forget it.  You even mention that it is remotely attached to college (not high school, college) and he's all over it.  I know I instill a healthy respect for education (what responsible parent wouldn't), however I believe I've created quite the monster.  It hasn't reached problematic levels yet - while he does stress about tests, once they're over and he brings home his "A", he levels-off pretty quickly.  Also to our benefit, our daughter is 4 years younger so there's no competition academically.

But that is his nightmare.  If he somehow missed or failed an exam - it would be world-shattering.  Note that my wife and I would totally understand and not make such a big deal out of it (I mean, c'mon, these are middle-school quizzes) but he would be so self-deprecating - it would take effort to pick him back up and dust himself off.

My daughter is still a kid.  So the expected things frighten her.  Strangers, riding in a car with no seatbelt, riding a bike with no helmet, large barky dogs, bees (omg, the bees), and being alone.  These are all understandable and shows a pretty good effort toward responsible parenting (see what I did there?)

Now, there are some that believe the only way to overcome your fears is to confront and move past them.  Clearly, I'm not going to sabotage my son's academics just for a psychological experiment.  However, if the law of averages has anything to say about it, he will come home with a less-than-stellar mark eventually and we'll progress as a family.

For my daughter, the dogs will appear smaller as she gets larger.  I have no idea what to do about the bees, though.

One thing that I am looking forward to is when they're old enough to enjoy horror movies.  I have a slight reservation that I'm not the cool-relative that's supposed to be exposing them to these, though (I'm the DAD)- it should be a cousin that sneaks a DVD or a Netflix download when nobody's looking.  That makes it all the more taboo and engaging.

 I'm glad I have them.  The alternative is just too chilling even for me.



 

Vodak, Febreeze's Worst Nightmare

Today, I get to behave like a TRUE blogger.  Yes.  I get to write an article about something I have absolutely NO personal experience with.

I happened across this Pro Life Tip:  Vodka is great at removing odors from clothing.

The above-mentioned article details how even cheap Vodka (nevermind what are you doing with CHEAP VODKA in the first place?!?) works at eliminating offensive smells from your clothes.

For even more veracity, the Mythbusters team confirmed this through a very elaborate study involving a very unlucky laundromat and an even unluckier nose.

As previously stated, I have no experience with vodka, expensive or cheap, and less experience with bad-smelling clothes.  However, if you happen to find yourself with just a few ounces of Stoli and no quarters for a proper wash-and-dry, then at least you can avoid smelling like a hobo.

A Mommyish Name Generator

At first, I couldn't figure out how to inject my own HTML code into a "blogging" environment.

So, I searched for a free host that would allow custom HTML.  That sandbox is at:  mommyish.herobo.com
 - that might be blocked from some providers as it may have a low web reputation.

This solution is preferred.  I've already found the customization settings for width and color (yay).

I can still experiment with it - especially with the name handling.

Share and enjoy.

This generator is developed with help from the online name generators.