Wednesday, August 1, 2012

BOYCOTT THIS

I'm doing this for my own entertainment.  I've been pondering over the whole "corporations being for-or-against" gay rights, and how many anti-gay individuals stated that they would boycott or protest corporations that supported gay rights.

At first, it started quietly - first Chevrolet designed an advertisement for their hybrid electric car, the Volt.  Next, Nabisco came under their ire with a pride week ad for their Oreo cookie.  I wondered how strong these convictions would be which led me here.

Let's imagine a conservative-thinking family.  We have a working father, let's call him Bob.  Bob is faithfully married to Michelle.  They have a beautiful teenage daughter named Sarah.

Bob is an investment banker at Washington Mutual.  He checks his stock portfolio via TD Ameritrade (Microsoft Windows makes this so easy now).  Profits are up and Bob can finally take his family on a nice vacation.  He calls Michelle with his Verizon cellphone to make sure their Citibank mortgage is paid for the month - she instantly verifies this on her Dell laptop because her Bank of America online account is updated in real-time.  Bob starts arranging the travel plans through Orbitz - he scans for a great deal:  Round-trip airfare on Delta with an Avis car rental and a posh suite at the Mariott.  There's even a nearby Harrah's Casino.

"Hold on", Michelle says.  "We can't rent a Chevrolet because they support gay pride.  Let's rent a Ford instead."

Click-click.

Sarah is packing all of her things:  her favorite Nike sneakers, the Apple iPod she purchased at Best Buy, her Chase Visa card, a few Hershey's kisses to munch on during the flight, and a tiny bottle of Absolut Vodka (shhhh...don't tell Bob and Michelle).

They fill up their Lexus at the local Shell station and make it to the airport with plenty of time to spare.  Bob takes the opportunity to grab a Bud Light at the airport bar while Michelle gets a Starbucks Latte and a Tylenol (she really can't handle the in-cabin pressure changes according to her Kaiser Permanente Physician).  Sarah skipped lunch and was feeling peckish, so she grabbed a soft taco from Chipotle (sorry, no chicken sandwiches available in the terminal), washing it down with a small diet Pepsi.

Their Boeing 747 is fully fueled (thank you, Chevron) and ready to go.  In-flight movie service is provided by Showtime.  Bob really wants to relax so he orders just one more beer on the flight - this time, it's a Coors.

The plane lands and their Ford Mustang Convertible is ready and waiting - Michelle always wanted to drive topless!  The hotel is top-notch and they have a wonderful time.  While they're away, the UPS man leaves their Amazon Kindle Fire securely on their doorstop so they'll have it the moment they return.

I hope by now you will have guessed that EVERY corporation (and many others) mentioned in this story is a supporter of gay rights.