Friday, June 27, 2014

Overall Health

Cholesterol results are in!

Jacqueline: "well...what is it?"
Me: "You gonna guess?"
J: "Lessee....threee....."
Me: <side-eye>
J: "....fiddy-seven."
Me: "Woman! It was two-fiddy-fi *after* BaconWeek las year!"
J: "Well, you a LEE!"
Me: "it's two forty-four"
J: "...that's still high."

That's what happened this morning.  For those not familiar with my medical history, let's just say that eight years ago, my cholesterol level was in the upper 400s.  I mean, sure, that sounds like a LOT of deep-fried Krispy Kreme, but let's step back a moment.

As my darling wife has stated, I am a Lee - thus you can conclude that this sort of hyperlipidemia runs in my family and you would be correct.  Practically every male in my family is on a statin drug now.  At Thanksgiving, we have Lipitor pie for dessert.  We cannot escape genetics, but modern pharmaceuticals are doing their best to improve them.

Also, I don't really feel any more-or-less healthy than eight years ago.  I find that most-curious.  This value which many would argue is a harbinger of a myocardial infarction (heart attack) doesn't really present itself in any way I can feel.  I'm not short of breath but I'm also not filled with any newfound energy to go run marathons.  My blood pressure has always been normal and I get the average number of sniffles during the wintertime.  I am intimately familiar with Five Guys burgers and fries but I indulge with moderation.  As long as the numbers keep improving, I will be taking these tasteless pills right before bedtime.  To me, it is just a number - a hoop that I jump through to keep living based on the best medicine we have today and that's an acceptable quality of life.

Medical history is something that you should take seriously.  I was tempted to ask my wife what her level is.  After giving it a lot of consideration, I decided against turning this into a video game.  There's the easy temptation to cholesterol-shame your spouse and nobody wants that.  I know she is proud of me in her own special way. 

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